Recently I attended a workshop for parents about substance use & abuse. The presenter continually emphasized the importance of “catching” your children while they are using or experimenting with drugs or alcohol. She offered strategies for parents of middle and high school age children, and people who work with teenagers in various capacities. She specifically emphasized the importance of knowing where your children are, whom they are with, and what their plans are for an evening etc. Regardless of their track record, even the “good kids” experiment with and use substances, which could lead to substance abuse if not caught early.
Below are some tips that I found especially helpful as I work with parents and teenagers who may be experimenting with, using, or abusing substances.
“The 10 Knows”
1. Know what your family values are about alcohol and drug use and teach them to your children at an early age (Starting in Kindergarten) Example: “We do not allow drugs in our house and alcohol is only for people over the age of 21”
2. Know whom your kids are friends with and know their parents.
3. Know if your children will be supervised at a friend’s house (**Just because parents are home does not mean they are supervised!)
4. Know where the kids are hanging out at the friends’ houses (Large house? Kids can be on another level and parents are relaxing on another level thinking “Aren’t they great, hanging out so quietly”)
5. Know your parental instincts (Have a bad feeling? Look into it)
6. Know the unfamiliar smells. (Even if you don’t know exactly what the smell is, find out, if it’s unfamiliar, it’s worth looking into.)
7. Know how much alcohol you have in your house and monitor it.
8. Know that many teenagers tell you one thing while they are doing another.
9. Know your community. What’s the community’s history of substances use/abuse at certain ages, are there specific freshman traditions in your community that are not sponsored by the school? Know the families in your community and collaborate with them about larger events kids will be going to.
10. Know the resources available to you and your family.
Most states offer counseling within the school system, this includes but is not limited to Guidance Counselors, Student Assistance Program (SAP*) Counselors, Behavior Coaches, School Psychologists and School Clinicians.
* Student Assistance Program counselors (“S-A-P counselors”) are counselors who work in middle and high schools as support staff for students who are using/abusing substances as well as teaching prevention strategies to students in an effort to encourage or maintain healthy choices.
